"Consider your own parenting style. Is the way you interact with your child targeting their heart and motivating them toward real heart-change, or do you mainly focus on changing behavior?"
An excerpt from "Heartfelt Discipline" by Clay Clarkson:
"We often aim our disciplinary efforts at the wrong target. We set our sights on stopping and changing a child's wrong behavior, and we miss the real target of shaping and influencing their heart, which is the source of the wrong behavior. Selfishness is an internal, spiritual issue, one that needs true biblical discipline, not simply isolated acts of punishment. The concern is not "How can I stop my child's selfish behavior?" but "How can I change the selfish attitude that causes my child's selfish behavior?"